My first time anal how to#

See tip #14 for advice on vaginal stimulation.) 10. If you plan to pair an anal plug with vaginal stimulation, Barnard suggests using a plug with a round flared base, as one with a banana base can interfere with vaginal stimulation. If at any point things get too uncomfortable, speak up.īarnard recommends getting a set of progressively sized anal plugs and wearing them during other sex play, whether vaginal, oral, or manual. The key here is to be gentle and communicate. Using anal sex toys like a small dildo, anal plugs, or anal vibrators can be a great way to ease into things. Tantric sex can be good for slowing it down. Whether you're using a penis, a finger, or a toy, start slowly with just the tip before inserting anything any deeper. First, you test the waters during foreplay, allowing your partner to gently rub around the opening with their finger, before experimenting with actually inserting anything. First-time anal sex should be approached like getting into a really hot bath tub. No matter how much lube you use, your backdoor is not a water slide. Spooning is also a great position and you can move back into the penis or dildo rather than them moving into you.” 8. “This allows the pelvic floor to be very relaxed and open. “I recommend on one's back at the edge of the bed, partner standing between one's legs, and either holding behind your knees or putting your legs on your partner's shoulders and moving into them,” Barnard says. However, certified sex educator Ellen Barnard doesn't recommend the receiver being on top for first-time anal experiences because you would need to use your legs more in that position, tensing the pelvic floor and causing the anal sphincter to tighten.įor first-timer-friendly sex positions, Barnard has some other suggestions. whichever partner is being penetrated) should be the one to control the depth and speed of penetration. Assume the right position.įor first-time anal sex, the receiver (a.k.a. (It also helps prevent bleeding after sex.) If your partner is using a condom, don't forget to make sure to apply a water or silicone-based lubricant (oil-based lubricants aren't compatible with condoms).

The more lube you use, the more comfortable and enjoyable anal sex can be, explains Needle. Unlike the vagina, the anus does not produce its own lubricant. The key to really enjoying anal sex? Lube, lube, and more lube. (Being one or two orgasms deep before you try any anal penetration helps.) “The more aroused you are, the more relaxed your sphincter muscle will be, and that's going to make for a hotter and easier experience,” she says. Start with foreplay, vaginal sex, anything that turns you on.

“The number one mistake people make is rushing,” says Taormino. One of the best ways to ease into anal play is to make sure you're extremely aroused beforehand. “To cleanse yourself (literally) of such mental roadblocks, take a nice steamy shower first.” 5. “Many people's fear of first-time anal sex stems from a fear of what goes on back there (naturally) and how that's going to play into the action,” says Needle. You may choose to establish a safeword to let your partner know you're not comfortable moving forward or that you want to move a little slower. If something feels uncomfortable or painful, let them know. Throughout the experience, it is your job to pay attention to what you are feeling, and communicate this to your partner. Trust me, this is one area in which you do not want any surprises.” 3. “Communicate your fears and expectations with your partner, and make sure that you are both on the same page about things like speed, depth, etc. As with all types of sexual activity, anal sex is something that should be discussed beforehand,” says Rachel Needle, PsyD, a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist.

My first time anal how to#

Communicate openly.įiguring out how to do anal sex with your partner starts with communication. To see what that feels like, tighten your butt muscles-kind of like a Kegel for the other end-and then release. To prepare for anal sex, you can also focus on specifically relaxing the muscles of your anal sphincter. If this is your first time trying anal sex, spend some time relaxing-take a hot bath, ask your partner to give you a sensual massage, heck, you can even meditate. “If you're hesitant, nervous, or not into it, no one is going to get off, and what's the point of that?” says Tristan Taormino, author of The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women. The last thing you want to be before attempting anal penetration (or anal stimulation) is tense. Read on for more in-depth advice on how to prepare for anal sex and make your first time safe, comfortable, and pleasurable. For a mantra to guide you through your first anal sex experience, Good Vibrations staff sexologist Carol Queen, PhD, suggests the following: “Relaxation, lubrication, communication.” The advice, below, are all essentially variations of that trio.